My Testimony

If a testimony is truth that you know by the power of the Holy Ghost, then here are some things that make up my testimony:

1. Julianne and I were sealed by God's priesthood power.
2. Christ forgives sins and can use imperfect people to bring about good.
3. The Book of Mormon is the word of God.
4. Joseph Smith was a prophet.
5. Jesus Christ was bringing about His work before His birth, communicated to prophets then, during His ministry, and continues to do so now.
6. I was called to be the Bishop.
7. The prayerful decisions Julianne and I have made have been confirmed in blessings I have given her, and reflect God's will for our family.
8. I was supposed to go to BYU.
9. God wanted Julianne and I to be sealed.
10. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is God's Church, and the only one He has sanctioned and empowered to offer His ordinances and covenants.
11. God wanted Julianne to teach in the primary.

I'm sure there's more. I'll update as necessary.

Helping a struggling man

Yesterday over lunch, I went to the grocery store to get some food. In front of me at the checkout line was an older man with a scraggly beard, an unkempt style of dress, and a cart full of alcohol. He looked like a man who had given up and just wanted to drink. I had no pity. I probably made some ill-advised judgements about him. He paid, left and so did I. I got to my car while he was bringing his shopping cart back into the store. He was walking so slowly and laboriously, I realized he needed the shopping cart to hold himself up. I almost jumped out and offered to take the cart for him, but I saw how close he was to the store, and decided it was pointless at that point. I left. I made it out of the parking lot before I realized that he needed the shopping cart to hold himself up to get back to his car, as well, so what was he going to do?

I backed up into a parking stall and decided I would just watch and see what he did. By the time I finished parking, which turned out to be a little difficult for some reason, he had made it back to the corner of the store and had leaned against the wall to stay up. He was looking out to his car like it was an impossibility. This time I jumped out and offered my arm, which he very gratefully took. I slowly walked him to his car and asked what had happened to his leg, and wished him a merry Christmas. He thanked me, and left. I left.

Here's the thing. That was Monday. Saturday, I tweaked my back such that I was almost unable to walk myself. I was laying down most of Saturday afternoon, most of Sunday (I even skipped church), and sort of managed to work by Monday. After I dropped him off at his car, and had walked back to mine, it took me struggling to get in my car to realize that I hadn't felt any pain while walking with him. It was probably there, but I hadn't noticed.

I think I looked beyond my own hurt and helped relieve the hurt of another, and that was why I didn't notice mine.

If we can look beyond our offenses, our grudges, and our pains, which often can be real and painful, and try to alleviate those of other people, ours will hurt less.

John 14:11

Believe me that I am in the Father, and the Father in me: or else believe me for the very works' sake.


What an inspiring way to rekindle your faith. Just believe for the sake of His work. Just believe for the sake of the children you are raising. Just believe for the sake of your neighbors who don't have the light of the gospel. Just believe for the dead who are waiting in the wings for their work to be done.

In the process, I believe that you will galvanize that belief into knowledge from the Spirit.

Alma 39

And this is not all, my son. Thou didst do that which was grievous unto me; for thou didst forsake the ministry, and did go over into the land of Siron among the borders of the Laminates, after the harlot Isabel.
Yea, she did steal away the hearts of many; but this was no excuse for thee, my son. Thou shouldest have tended to the ministry wherewith thou wast entrusted.

So much scope here for the imagination. Corianton's first mistake was not tending to his duty. This is such a powerful lesson for a man. When he is at work, he should work. When he is at home, he should be a husband and a father. When he is at church, he should worship and serve. A man has something to be doing. He should do it. Idleness can kill spiritual progress very quickly. Idleness often leads to mischief. Any four-year-old can be an example of that. It doesn't really change for a forty-year-old.

Why was it no excuse for him? Why not all the other men who presumable followed after her? Because Corianton was ordained. He had the priesthood. He had a duty.

Alma 38 - Capacity

Lately, I have been focusing on capacity. My fasts and my prayers have been to plead for capacity to see my children for who they are and look past their attitude, behavior, crying, and whining and see them for their diving potential.

I noticed today in my scripture reading of alma 38 that Alma counsels his son, Shiblon, that in order to be filled with love, it is necessary for him to bridle his passion. I have always considered that good advice for a hormonal teenager or pre-mission child or dating-for-marriage returned missionary: true love is not passion, it is just love. Passion will completely get in the way of love, the Spirit, and peace. Bridle the passion, the hormones, the sex drive, the lust, and let love dictate your actions. Love is patient, and seeks the good of others, and obedient to God's commandments.

Perhaps there is another application for parents, although the above is still good advice for a married man. Perhaps he passions that I need to bridle are annoyance, anger, frustration, criticism, cynicism, impatience, etc. I am not all of those things all the time, but I am often employing one of those to my children. The thought is that maybe by actively seeking to bridle, or restrain, those feelings, I will be filled with love. I will have more room to love them. It will be easier for me to see the good.

A temperate man is one to be envied. A man who in all seasons can control himself and keep his calm. A man who can employ a level head and a fixed determination. I want to be that bridled, controlled sort of man.

Alma 19:4,9,10,11

4 And she said unto him: The ^aservants of my husband have made it known unto me that thou art a ^bprophet of a holy God, and that thou hast ^cpower to do many mighty works in his name;9 And Ammon said unto her: ^aBelievest thou this? And she said unto him: I have had no witness save thy word, and the word of our servants; nevertheless I ^bbelieve that it shall be according as thou hast said.
10 And Ammon said unto her: Blessed art thou because of thy exceeding faith; I say unto thee, woman, there has not been such great faith among all the people of the ^aNephites.
11 And it came to pass that she watched over the bed of her husband, from that time even until that time on the morrow which Ammon had appointed that he should rise.


She heard testimony from one and then another source, and decided to believe. She had no witness. She just decided to believe, and that belief propelled her to act. In her case, acting was just waiting and watching, but she acted all the same. And then, he rose. And she received her witness. 

(Ether 12:6 : And now, I, Moroni, would speak somewhat concerning these things; I would show unto the world that ^afaith is things which are ^bhoped for and ^cnot seen; wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no ^dwitnessuntil after the ^etrial of your faith.)


And that's all.

Alma 13

3 And this is the manner after which they were ordained—being called and prepared from the foundation of the world according to the foreknowledge of God, on account of their exceeding faith and good works; in the first place being left to choose good or evil; therefore they having chosen good, and exercising exceedingly great faith, are called with a holy calling, yea, with that holy calling which was prepared with, and according to, a preparatory redemption for such.

So. When a man or woman exercises faith unto good works, and chooses good, they are called with a holy calling. Associated with that holy calling is a preparatory redemption. Is it possible that being called, even if it is a small calling, carries with is a sort of cleansing/redemption to a person who is trying to do good and be good? In the same way that whom the Lord calls he qualifies or magnifies?

When I was called to be the YMP several years ago, I felt very unqualified and unworthy. I know this was a result of my doubts, not my faith, but the answer to my heartfelt prayers came as a very direct feeling of forgiveness, and assurance of my usability. It was as though I was being preparatorily redeemed for that calling.

This scripture isn't talking about callings, it's talking about a call to the priesthood. Not the ordination, but just a sort of abstract call. Maybe in that sense, the call is nothing more than the Holy Ghost working on a man or woman to do better, such that they can receive redemption, such that they can go and serve.