We are uncomfortably excited.
"I hope her trials maker her stronger."
I felt grateful when I heard your testimony to have such a good friend who loves the Lord. So thank you!
And Ryan’s talk was so so uplifting. I absolutely loved his fav movie example. Such a good point. And his story about praying to know who to help and then doing it. THAT is the work of the Lord. That’s so inspiring to share. That’s what makes us disciples of Christ! Those experiences uplift both the giver and receiver. Powerful.
Julianne Weaver:
I don’t mean “possibly” like you’re incapable of handling it. Just, that’s a lot. A lot of kids moving around and stretching their souls!
Melissa Hodgman:
They’ve been eager to be by grandkids! Feels like several good families are leaving the CR stake!
That’s a good way to say it “stretching their souls”
Ohhh poor little ones! Hopefully They’ll see your enthusiasm and faith in this decision and mirror it!
March 18: But honestly right about now we’re both like, uh, ok, whyyy are we going to Indiana?? We have to keep going back to when we felt good about it...it’ll work out butit doesn’t feel settled or pleasant right about now.
Mar 28: Melissa Hodgman:
Wow that’s new. Ok well I hope your offer is accepted!!
Let me know! Nick & I are praying for you both.
Julianne Weaver:
We hope so too because this is the first house that has come up that's already built that is really in our style that we really like.
And, I'm kind of over stressing about a house, so I really hope this one goes through
Melissa Hodgman:
Well trust Him! He’ll put your family in the right place for you!!
Julianne Weaver:
I'm getting better at trusting heavenly father's plans which are different than mine, and it will be very nice when some of these questions have an answer
The house is actually one street over from Ryan's brother, which of course has caused considerable angst on my part. They are excited and hopeful that we will come
After I listen to Kristin and Oaks podcast just now I had a brief glimpse at how I can how we can live close to family and have it work out. I feel like if I'm humble and I just love other people, it will be a good experience.
Melissa Hodgman:
They’d be blessed to live close to your family! You are both so good at following the prophet and having the right priorities
If you don’t get the house you should consider a move to Boise 😉
Hmmm maybe I’ll pray for that
April 6:
Julianne Weaver:
Melissa, what was it that you said to me one Sunday that you came to our ward about having faith in the Lord to help you help your teenage children?
Do you remember this conversation? I remember you said Nick had told you after you had been worrying that you could trust the Lord to help. But I can't remember how you said it.
Melissa Hodgman:
Hmmm- I don’t remember but could use this now 😉
Julianne Weaver:
Ah dang, yeah someone in my ward a few years ago had told me something along the lines of “no matter how much you train a kid(s) to do the right thing, they’re still going to grow up and do whatever they want without regard to you.” I was so seriously bothered and honestly weighed down by that statement. it felt like, “well, have fun working your tail off, because in the end it doesn’t matter.” I think that’s where she felt like she was in her life with her kids.
You guys showed up at church - I think that was one of the times we basically prayed you there - and I mentioned it to you. Quick as lightning you said something like, “yes and no, they have their agency yes, but no, the things we teach are more than that. It’s what we covenanted to do and we can trust god to get them where you’re trying to get them go.” you said you had been worrying to your husband about it and he said, “no, you have to have more faith in Heavenly Father that he’ll help because we’ve worked and prayed for this. You can trust that he’ll keep his promises.” Something like that??? Anyway it was like a shot of pure truth to my soul.
Someone just was talking with me this morning about teenagers and what heavy mental stamina you have to have, kid after kid. I was trying to tell her what you told me those years ago. I don’t think I said it right but hopefully the message got across.
Oh this topic gets me fired right up!
“To the mothers of this Church, every mother who is here today, I want to say that as the years pass, you will become increasingly grateful for that which you did in molding the lives of your children in the direction of righteousness and goodness, integrity and faith. That is most likely to happen if you can spend adequate time with them.”
Hinckley O1996
GBHinckley:
"There is a proverb that states: “As the twig is bent, so the tree is inclined.” Youth is the season to set the directions for life."
Elder Uchtdorf: “teach the gospel to your children, and if necessary- use words”
Mosiah 27:14 god hears the prayers of parents
Alma & Alma the younger
President Hinckley said: “Love can make the difference--love generously given in childhood and reaching through the awkward years of youth … and encouragement that is quick to compliment and slow to criticize” (“Bring Up a Child in the Way He Should Go,” Nov. 1993, 60). “Did I tell you” Susan tanner
"MOTHERS, cherish that role that is so uniquely yours and for which heaven itself sends angels to watch over you and your little ones. Yours is the work of salvation and therefore, you will be magnified, compensated, made better than you are, better than you have ever been." Elder Holland
Ok that’s all for now- bc I have to drive Meg to the airport.
Julianne Weaver:
I love all those ones you sent me. I just re taught the kids on Sunday about angels coming to watch over, specifically from that talk by elder Holland. Which talk is that from Pres Eyring? I know the quote just not the reference
Melissa Hodgman:
Yes. This topic is big for me. I’m with you- I Can’t see us devoting our whole lives to raising children onto him, only to have them turn away and never come back
A Home Where the Spirit of the Lord Dwells
Julianne Weaver:
Yessss
Ok that talk was like directed at us when he gave it. He answered so many questions we’d been praying about right then.
Probably many parents had been praying about those things. It was almost like a candid talk; it almost seemed like it was in a small room. Like he was talking to his adult children. It seemed different a little than his usual talks.
Melissa Hodgman:
I’m just giving all my heart and soul to mothering, and if a few of my kids choose other paths then I will pray and pray and pray that they come back.
Julianne Weaver:
The part in Pres Nelson’s talk a plea to my sisters about learning to express your beliefs with confidence and charity, and sister Eubanks about being able to speak clearly about beliefs...yeah I’m still working on that. I have the beliefs and the quotes all in my head, but even with practicing them out on Ryan or my kids or writing them down I still get them all tangled up in the moment. Then I go back and find 50 talks or quotes that I could’ve/should’ve used, blah.
Melissa Hodgman:
Thank you. That is how I feel! (Our moral environment)
I know- me too
It’s ok. You live it and that’s testimony enough
I’m going to listen to that talk tomorrow morning on my walk
I shared the president packer talk this morning with a friend from CR who moved to Utah who’s 18-year-old son left the church two years ago. Thank you for sharing that with me
Melissa Hodgman:
She said they’re love love loving him so he’ll feel comfortable to come back to the gospel.
Julianne Weaver:
THAT is incredible. After watching two of my siblings leave, and lots of other people, I think that’s the key. When the love isn’t conditional on whether the kid stays in the gospel, I feel like the that creates a good situation for them to want to come back, for whenever that happens.
My brother felt like my parents love for him was based only on him staying in the gospel, so he not only left the church, he left the family for more than 20 years. Just in the last 7 years has he come back bc he recognizes that no one here is requiring that he and his family be a member for us to love him and want to be with them.
But it’s so tricky and a heavy situation!!
Melissa Hodgman:
Ugh that’s what satan would tell those who are wavering
Julianne Weaver:
I just listened to the newest women podcast this am (I had time bc I had to make two trips up to the school to take forgotten backpacks and lunches and viola) and the lady gave such good advice for part member families: love the spouse/kid, and anything that isn’t working, let god have it, and you keep loving. The way she said it was so simple but profound.
Melissa Hodgman:
Oh I should listen to that
April 22:
Julianne Weaver:
Ok shifting topics - grace weaver, faith’s sister, is getting married. they put this “intentional families” book on their registry, and so I asked her about that. She said they are really interested in trying to make a plan and how they can make a strong marriage and family. It got me thinking of an idea to put together our favorite/most helpful talks about marriage/family life. Do you have a few that are heavy hitters for you?
the first one that came to my mind is Whitney Clayton’s “watch and learn”…
There’s also a couple older ones by Pres nelson
Melissa Hodgman:
Oh congrats!! Meg really liked Grace, said she was so impressive
Oh I like this question! Yes let’s exchange favorites!
Julianne Weaver:
Haha Ryan just said “anything nick hodgman ever said in a talk.”
Yep!
Melissa Hodgman:
Love Is a Choice: Making Your Marriage and Family Stronger by Lynn G. Robbins.
I haven’t read this but want to
You guys are kind
Julianne Weaver:
Ooh I havne’t heard of that one
We love his “you are 100% responsible” talk though
Melissa Hodgman:
I’m going to look through my notes when I get home...
Melissa Hodgman:
How are you doing????
When are you moving?
Have you sold the practice?
Julianne Weaver:
Wellll about that. In a nutshell, the last viable buyer of the practice fizzled last Sunday. On Monday we made the decision to stay here another full school year. On Wed am we got out of the house we’d been planning on in Indiana. On Wed night we found and got an accepted offer on a house here (it changes all our kids schools). We move from our current house next Thursday and will go to the Gabels house for 5
Weeks (bc they’re in Germany) until we close on the new house in late July. That’s the tidy answer to what’s going on.
Melissa Hodgman:
Oh my
I’m sorry
Julianne Weaver:
The real answer is: everything feels like it has fallen to pieces. We thought everything would line up so nicely, and nothing except the sale of our house has. We still have Ryan’s practice here, and we’re thankful the Gabels are gone and are letting us use their large house and yard for the 5 weeks that we’re homeless, rather than getting a dinky apartment somewhere...but yeah. It has been a wild roller coaster and one that we’re still not off. It’s been rough.
I don’t know what we’re going to do long term, honestly. Everything is kind of raw right now so right now we just feel like staying still and breathing again without pressure to move and go. But then we also look around and say, “are we seriously staying here? Is this what we’re supposed to do, actually, and not be moving?” So right now it’s a bit muddled. Our practice technically is on the market through November, but we won’t sell it any sooner than next summer. And sometimes we think ok, maybe we won’t sell and go at all, and we’ll just expand here. And then other times that seems like the very worst idea. It feels like all the answers we thought we had this past fall/winter just evaporated and we have to find out what the need plan is.
I’m glad my kids have good friends here (all except Joe...he’s got some struggles), and we have a good job, and our family is healthy and relatively happy (kids not too happy to be switching schools but they’re doing better with it than I thought they would). It’s a bit embarrassing making and telling everyone our plans and then watching the plans just fall flat. In the end I know things will work exactly as they should but right now they’re so messy and there are exactly no answers. It’s stressful and heavy. Soooo how’s that for a depressing sort of conversation this morning.
Actually you’re one of the last people I’ve texted about it, mostly bc I was SO sure about moving, SO sure about building a house, SO sure about buying the other house, and I’ve talked with you about all of it. I feel sheepish coming back and saying “just kidding!” We didn’t foresee the practice not selling quickly — the little rural practices around us sell so so fast. But come to find out, every rural practice that’s trying to sell right now is struggling. If we had tried to do this before covid, I think it would’ve worked. Seems that dentists are unable or unwilling to purchase a small solo practice right now. We thought we’d see the end of solo practitioners in about 20 years, but right now it feels like it’s on our doorstep. So we’re not sure what the way forward with that whole thing looks like.
Melissa Hodgman:
When we were in Iowa felt it to move, we started the process. And then the opposition started. And I have said so so many times maybe we shouldn’t have moved. But I can’t entertain that thought for too long, because I knew we were supposed to move. We took a huge pay cut, we moved into a more expensive housing market, our house didn’t sell for year, and then we lost $45,000 on it we moved 4 times in one year, and the job has been very high maintenance. The doctor over Nick came after him the first couple months we were here, and since then has come after many of the employees. Last week Friday the hospital talked to this doctor and said they were not going to renew his contract, but would give him six month increments to show that he can change his ways. So glad that this issue is being addressed but it’s a toxic environment! So my point is stay with Him through this! Trust those feelings you had even when it’s not appearing to work out!
Julianne Weaver:
Phew ok I’ll leave it at that. If you have words of wisdom, I’ll gladly listen. But mostly it’s a bit head-scratching and a hundred questions. We do feel happy we found a nice house. It’s much smaller than our current one, and very brown inside. But it’s a great neighborhood and the house is clean and well-kept and would be easy (I think) to resell whenever the time comes.
Oh my gosh I’m sorry it’s been so wild out there for you guys. Ugh about the doctor over him. Wasn’t a bad work environment also an issue here? I’m sorry that happened there, what in the world could he have to say or think negative about nick hodgman??
I do so enjoy tidy life situations, and there has been nothing tidy about this since the beginning. Getting out of our Indiana house last week was a nightmare...the sellers were nice but the two realtors were beastly. We luckily only lost our earnest money but they threatened so much more. I am sorry you guys lost as much as you did on your home here. The things you said — losing 45k, moving 4x, a bad work environment, more expensive location to live — how do you wrap your brain around it??? All we keep going back to is why we did this in the first place, and it was bc we honestly felt it was correct at the beginning. There’s been so much blah since then...the ONLY thing kind of solid we can go on is the thoughts/feelings we had back in oct. but now I’m like “ok were those feelings meant to lead us to a totally different path, that has nothing to do with Indiana, that wasn’t open until now?” I don’t knowwww.
Melissa Hodgman:
These experiences you’re going through are like PhD level discipleship. Its ideal when everything falls into place, and you can see the Lord‘s hand in it. It’s a lot harder when you know something is right and receive constant opposition to it. It’s been a learning experience for us. So many days I’ve longed to go back to our Iowa life. Those were blessed days. But I know we were supposed to move on, so here we are.
How did you know you were supposed to move? I’m not trying to get you to question anything, nor do I mean tell me about any sacred experiences. But did you actually want to move, or did it seem to come from left field? We knew we wanted to change things, but the idea to move out of Iowa wasn’t exactly on the radar, though we knew it was a possibility. And even then we thought we’d probably come back west. I’ve thought “did we bring this on ourselves because we got like ‘the grass is greener’ syndrome, or did we actually feel something to go?” Maybe it’s a mix of both. We can pinpoint a time that Ryan felt true confirmation of it, at the very beginning, so that’s what we’ve been working off of. But it’s been pretty quiet since then, as far as getting repeated confirmations.
I don’t like to dwell in the negative, but there’s no clear answer or path forward, so we are just taking small steps now. Move out of this house next week. Live at the gables for 5 weeks. Move to the new house in late July and start new schools. Beyond that we can’t see anything.
One definite plus of all this: we have gotten rid of so much excess stuff we had. Give away or dumped probably 30-40% of our things. It feels good!
Do you know what I remember, is texting you a bunch the day you guys announced you were moving. I wish I had given you some space!! Please forgive me for barraging you with texts that day, when you guys were working through it on your own. I don’t know that you remember that, but I do and I’ve regretted it.
I was sitting on the couch with Sam watching a movie in February and I felt a clear impression to start packing up the house. I ignored it and then a little while later felt it again. So I got up and started going through drawers. The next day I woke up and thought that was kind of silly and decided I was done with it. I got another impression to start preparing to move. So for like a week I went through drawers and cabinets etc. one day Nick came home early from work and I was loading up some boxes to put in the garage. He was like what’s going on? I was like I don’t know I just feel like I need to prepare to move. I actually was kind of nervous about the whole thing because I wondered if he was either gonna lose his job or die or something so I never even mentioned it to him.
He jumped on a computer and started looking for jobs. He also said that in the previous week or two at church meetings he felt like he would be done soon.
I’ve felt the burden of having the first impression this whole time, even though Nick supported me in it 100%. But it’s scary to make a major life change without having to.
Here are the blessings: we’ve loved living closer to our kids, and I think they’ve needed it as much as we have. Nick has been pushed to be a better cardiologist since he has his colleague watching his every step. Because his colleague is so mean to everyone, it’s been fun to be a member of the church here and a light to those around him at work. They know he’s a member. We have grown closer to the Savior through staying with him when we felt depressed or frustrated. I feel like Nick has grown as a disciple of Christ through this. We love living by the temple. This has been a really good community to raise our kids in. I’m not sure the schools are as good as Iowa though. It has definitely been good for our teens. They have friends from really good families. We didn’t feel like we needed that when we were in Iowa, but have felt blessed by having church friends in this phase of life.
Marys school friends in Iowa were trouble. We weren’t fond of them. Nick always says if we moved just to save Mary, that would be reason enough to sacrifice all that we did.
Ya we did the same- really. Gave away like 30% of our stuff. It felt good.
Oh please don’t regret that! It’s nice to have a friend to talk it through with.
We didn’t announce it until we were ready to. Except that Ryan texted Nick while we were still deciding and asked him if we would ever move to a place with more members. That made us smile.
Melissa Hodgman:
I can’t deny the impression- just wish it would’ve been accompanied with successful steps 😉
Julianne Weaver:
Ryan and I don’t remember him texting nick about that!
As parents we always try to remove The situation from our kids, but that if that doesn’t work then we need to remove our kids from the situation.
Melissa Hodgman:
Because we have the playroom on the main, we don’t have a guest bedroom. Which I miss, but we go in that playroom every single day that’s where our TV is. And visitors are only occasional
Julianne Weaver:
Here’s the thing and then I’ll leave you alone (for today), I always feel uplifted by your method of delivering realism. It’s not always rosy or easy and there’s real life that has to happen, but your realism has faith on the backside of it, and I really really really appreciate that. You’re like one of three friends I have who can frame a good or bad situation in faith. Anyway thanks for asking about how things were. I’ve been too scared to report back, I didn’t want you to think we’re dumb.
Melissa Hodgman:
I don’t know that talk!
Julianne Weaver:
We did figure out how to get Ryan released from a stake calling. Just tell everyone you’re moving. Whether or not you do is beside the point! Haha.
Melissa Hodgman:
Oh my gosh- don’t feel silly about it! I can relate! Following him doesn’t always go the way we’d like it to go. And thank you for your kind compliment. I felt twice this morning to check in with you.
Haha no kidding!
Julianne Weaver:
I almost texted you last night, Ryan told me to but I chickened out. But I do mean that about my text about your faith. On top of our own personal disastrous-feeing life, in the last month I’ve had another sister and family and a dear, dear friend from byu days say that they’re done with the church. It’s been bewildering and just added to the jumble in my head. They’ve both asked why I would stay when xyz isn’t right or doesn’t happen or whatever...I’ve had to again deeply reevaluate why I stay and try to teach my kids. My answer has been “this is about HIM, and covenants I made/make with Him and HF, and no one else.”
Anyway ok. I’m going to fix my hair for the day...at some point when I’m less prideful I’ll show you a picture of my hair nowadays. A simple cut and color has never gone so astray.
June 12:
Melissa Hodgman:
Well we felt to move closer to college kids so no. But honestly I love the Midwest so it’s always an option. A hospital in Milwaukee reached out to nick and I’m not gonna lie it was tempting. But we’re staying here until we FEEL to move.
Julianne Weaver:
I guess one update is that we have decided definitely not to do Indiana with ryans brother. The farther away from that whole deal that we get, the more we’re breathing a sigh of relief. If prices were normal out in the mountain west, and if we had a buyer for the office here, we honestly would likely come out west next year or the next. But we actually do like Iowa a lot, and are kind of considering going to Des Moines or Iowa city, and setting up a new office out there. I thiiiink there might be a bit more vibrant wards, but maybe that is just grass-is-greener syndrome. I don’t know where we’ll go - but if nothing else, this wild last few months has at least opened all of our minds to change, whenever that happens.
In the meantime, our new house is loaded with projects and I’m kind of excited to take it on. Also already tired.
We want to be around people who love the gospel and who know how to work hard in school, work. Maybe I am not looking hard enough to find them. There are a few people like that here but it’s just kind of dead here. I don’t want that for the kids! But I don’t have any idea if the west would really be that much better in that regard. And when I have to wait at a stop sign for a “huge” line of cars to go and then realize there were only 5 cars, I realize there are definite trade offs to a bigger city.
We change our minds every week where to go. And we can’t go anywhere till the practice sells anyway. I hope once we get a bit settled in the new house and school is going and our lives aren’t turned upside down so much, there will be more room for clarity.
Any advice you have even if it is to say “you need to chill out”, I would gladly take.
Melissa Hodgman:
I like your open mind!
And good attitude- you’ve been through it. I’m so sorry!
I bet you’ll look back and understand all this one day. Iowa is great. Iowa city would be super- I have a few friends that loved north liberty. Loved the area and the ward. My brother is a pediatrician in west Des Moines. And the Keeler’s were in our ward when we first moved to CR, and lived right by us. They left Iowa and came to Boise, then moved back to Des Moines. So she would be a great resource if you ever go that route.
We’ve loved eagle- just the right amount of Latter Day Saints. Im grateful for our years standing out but I also appreciate that my teens have support. These are good kids here from good families! I’m glad we’re here but I still worry about the schools. I think they are good but time will tell.
But at the same time I strongly believe that it’s what we enforce in the home that guides their work effort.
Moving is scary/exciting!
Also this place is growing like mad! It’s hard to get into a dentist! I just canceled Emma‘s appointment this week, and the soonest they have available is January 😳
But bc of the flood of move-ins the housing is crazy expensive 🙄
I’m just putting in a plug to sway the weavers out this way 😉
August 24:
Melissa Hodgman:
Thank you- I’m still praying that you sell the practice!
Julianne Weaver:
Thank you. We don’t know what to do…short and/or long-term. His staff is antsy and one just left to go to a “more stable” employer, and two others have said they’re being recruited heavily by other offices. It’s kind of a mess.
Melissa Hodgman:
Ugh
Julianne Weaver:
you have lots of people to pray for, so any that you send up in our behalf are hugely appreciated. feels like we’re getting crickets right now.
Melissa Hodgman:
Nicks losing staff too- bc the hospital required the vaccine
Julianne Weaver:
Oh geez. I’m so sorry.
Melissa Hodgman:
I know that feeling. He ALWAYS answers: either yes, no, or he waits to answer while we learn a few things.
We’re currently “learning a few things”
😉
Julianne Weaver:
While you learn, you could come back to Iowa and be our neighbors.
Except then you’d die a slow death here too, like we sometimes feel we are. So actually don’t come back.
Melissa Hodgman:
I’m sorry. I’m sure you’ll look back and it will all make sense. Stay with Him!
Julianne Weaver:
I just want someone to step in and tell us what to dooooo. that's much easier.
Oh we’re not going anywhere. And I know He’s not either. But man alive this is rough.
Melissa Hodgman:
I know. I’m sorry!
Julianne Weaver:
If you get any brainwaves for us, let me know. If I hear of any heart people I’ll send them to you.
heart people = cardiology nurses/staff. haha.
Melissa Hodgman:
Ok well don’t trust me bc my brainwaves say it’s time for the weavers to move to Boise. I’m biased.
Julianne Weaver:
I DO trust your brainwaves!
is your friend kristin and her family active in the church? i’m hoping to hear back from her and get her perspectives on all the places they’ve lived.
Aug 26:
Melissa Hodgman:
Maybe you’ve listened already- Megan heard this on campus (bc she’s teaching a freshman English course). It’s beautiful. So grateful for apostles
Julianne Weaver:
Well that’s going to need a double-listen.
Thanks for sending that.
I had only read that the talk was given, but hadn’t listened. I had a lot of thoughts during it. Also, I bet Megan is a great teacher.
Melissa Hodgman:
I only listened- now I need to read it
And memorize a few lines
Julianne Weaver:
Today I read d and c 88, and then 90. I got hung up in several places but esp 90:36. I read/ thought about it for me personally, but then I listened to elder Holland’s talk and it’s the literal “contend with Zion and plead with her strong ones” that just happened in that message.
And 1 nephi 11:35.
Also I admit to thinking once or twice during it, “this is the real-life hogwarts.”
Sept 23:
Melissa Hodgman:
How are you all doing?
Do you have any renovation pics to show off??
Julianne Weaver:
Lots of work, but no nice pictures yet…lots and lots of painting, tiling, building and installing thriling things like range hood vents and microwaves. About 20 or 30 or 100 million projects open and none are closed. I wish I’d taken a cue from you and had someone build us a house instead!
We’ve officially decided to stay here for at least 2 years more, and when our contract with our dental broker ends in December, we’ve decided not to renew. We’ll just see how things play out. The phrase I have been coming back to is one that apparently Pres. Nelson says a lot when they come to an impasse on some issue…he says “We need more information. Let’s put this on ice for awhile and come back to it.” So. That’s what we’re doing, but we finally feel somewhat settled about being unsettled.
Any updates on your family? How is Matt doing? Oh! Also, while I was painting walls I turned on the 2009 BBC version of Emma. Have you guys watched that?? I hadn’t for like a year and I was laughing out loud.
Today I turned on some old talks while I drove and Pres Eyrings Oct 2016 about gratitude one was going. It was just right for my brain, esp when he quoted D&C 78 and Mosiah 24.
Melissa Hodgman:
Ok I love that counsel from Pres Nelson. I’m sorry you have to labor through this!
I will listen to this tomorrow! Thank you!
Adversity
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2009/04/adversity
I listened to this today (quite by accident) but loved it!
Julianne Weaver:
Oh excellent thank you very much I’ll listen tomorrow as I paint mooooorrrre trim.
I will say this: the laboring we’re doing is real, but I’m finally feeling that a subtle shift in my heart and head is beginning to happen. I had the quiet thought in my head a couple weeks ago: “I took you apart so I could rebuild you.” I think in the end we’re going to be grateful that we’ve gone through these messes.
(I also feel like all I do is talk about me and my hard life that really isn’t that hard…I promise I’m not so self-oriented as I have seemed in recent months!!)
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2009/04/adversity
"You're getting PhD level discipleship right now"
D&C 78:17-19
17 Verily, verily, I say unto you, ye are little children, and ye have not as yet understood how great blessings the Father hath in his own hands and prepared for you;
18 And ye cannot bear all things now; nevertheless, be of good cheer, for I will lead you along. The kingdom is yours and the blessings thereof are yours, and the riches of eternity are yours.
19 And he who receiveth all things with thankfulness shall be made glorious; and the things of this earth shall be added unto him, even an hundred fold, yea, more.
Book of Mormon
13 And it came to pass that the voice of the Lord came to them in their afflictions, saying: Lift up your heads and be of good comfort, for I know of the covenant which ye have made unto me; and I will covenant with my people and deliver them out of bondage.
14 And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions.
15 And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord.
